i dont know do i ?

Dirty Boy

I think if Flash or Cif sold their products in water pistols men may be more inclined to help out around the house. What do you reckon?

 

Tube Truths

Elephant & Castle illustrated by the beautiful Benjamin Heath

Named after Richard Elephant and Diane Castle, a famous double act who combined magic and dance in the early 19th century. Having met on the thriving East London salsa dancing circuit, Elephant and Castle danced semi-professionally for almost a year. However after an unfulfilling period of narrowly missing out on prizes, Diane suggested that what the partnership needed was "A little bit of magic." Although no one could have envisaged how literally she meant this. Soon after they were wowing Europe's aristocracy with "The Three Cups and Balls Waltz" and "The Saw the Lady in Half Bolero." Both drowned on the Titanic.  

We Are Gathered Here

"Everyone you have ever known will die.

And so will you.

And yet we dance in the looming shadows of mortality, we dance and we talk and we eat and we argue. We read books. We care for people. We buy houses. We plant trees and we start to drive and we learn how to make milk frothy. Because something, somewhere in the middle of it all has to matter. As our seconds and minutes and days slip by, something has to be important. And who are we to giggle and point and sneer at what others have found to care about? Who is to say what is beneath us, what is not worthy of our hearts?

Everybody needs something to hold when it gets dark, so who am I, who are any of us, to point at anything and call it facile or redundant or stupid or rubbish?

Even when it quite clearly is."

Daniel Kitson

Kevin Spacey is quite good at impressions

According to Christoper Walken, Kevin Spacey does the best Christopher Walken impression. This he does and he also does some other pretty good impressionerations.

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The scariest thing you will EVER see

Happy Halloween

Dem Innocent Labels

Done by me and those lovely people at Fruit Towers.

 

Sirens and their meanings

Living in London my ears are often bombarded by sirens from all angles. I like to play a game of guessing which emergency vehicle is approaching before I see it by just listening to the siren and I'm getting quite good at it. Often though you hear multiple sirens and not just multiple sirens from the same emergency service. This is when it get's interesting as I often try to guess what kind of emergency they are on their way to and I know you do too. Well, wonder no more as I have devised a simple yet comprehensive Venn diagram detailing exactly what to expect in each circumstance.

New Shy Tug

A new t-shirt from Shy Tug has set sail. Order one now you lovers.

Sniff my van

Some time ago I was fortunate enough to cycle past a van. A van that had it's windows down or "daaahn" as the typical London van driver is oft heard saying. I took a deep breath and was reminded of a certain smell particular only to vans. It's a good smell, it's a strong smell, it's masculine, it's British, it's proletariat, it's proud, it's eau du van. Many amongst you will be aware of the smell, some wont but I urge you, whenever presented with the opportunity, to stick your face inside a van and take a good old sniff. Alternatively you can make your own van smell at home. You will need: WD40 or Swarfega, a "red-top" tabloid allowed to mature for at least a week, 10 Lambert and Butler smoked right daaahn to the butt, a sausage and egg bap and body odour. Best of British.

A jumper

I designed this jumper. If you are Coco Chanel  or Ted Baker or Dolce or even Gabanna, drop me a line guys and we'll make history (out of cotton).